I want to stick my p in your. b.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
