My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
