i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Found your dick twin last night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
