And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So squirting runs in the family.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize