I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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