The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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