i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
