Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
