hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
