Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
