Ambien. No doubt about it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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