so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
