It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
