I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
