so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
