I skipped work to stalk him.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
