I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
