If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
