Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
