At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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