butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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