Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize