i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
