When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
