I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I party with great urgency now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
