omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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