okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want her autograph on my taint
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
