Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
