she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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