I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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