So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
honey bunches of taint.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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