Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
