so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
