If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
