even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
