Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
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