Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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