Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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