you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This house was built for laser tag.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize