so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize