ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
