Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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