i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
