I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
