Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
