she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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