Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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