i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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