if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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