He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
