You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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