dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
