So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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