Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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