Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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