stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
