Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
