This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
