The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
