Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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